Has this ever been you?
You’ve probably seen some variation of this meme already. They’re all over the place. Whether we’re all still a little more awkward from the isolation of the beginning of the pandemic, or we’re all just very concerned about how others are remembering and thinking about us, it seems this is one feeling we can all relate to these days.
And it is a bit funny! Not every meme is a sign of a larger problem, and when this isn’t happening to you all the time, it can be a nice release to make fun of it.
But we do live in a world where we’re constantly either performing for others or making huge amounts of our lives visible through social media and various other aspects of online lives. When we spend so much time being visible to others, it’s only natural there would be a larger sense of “everyone is watching and judging me” because to a degree it’s true. Everyone who has access to your social media profiles can be watching. And, whether it’s healthy or not, plenty of people hop on social media and compare how others are doing based on what impression their posts give.
There’s an appropriate amount of caring about what others think of you. That’s what manners are! You want to be comfortable as yourself, but not offend others unnecessarily. And in intimate relationships (romantic, platonic or family relationships) being open to hearing what others think of you can present opportunities for vulnerability and increase intimacy within the relationship.
Giving thought to others isn’t bad in itself, it’s when the thought of what others may think of you starts controlling how you act is when it becomes a problem.
So how can you start to care less about what others think of you?
Remember you don’t like everyone:
There are plenty of people in the world that you don’t click with. Whether you just don’t connect with them, or they kind of annoy you, their existence probably impacts your life very little! You’re able to live knowing that the two of you don’t jive, and it’s not because either of you are terrible people.
Sometimes we just don’t click with others. Try to remember this when you’re worried if others like you: it’s okay if they don’t. It might not even be a judgment on you, they might just recognize there’s nothing the two of you have in common. There’s nothing wrong with that!
Ask yourself: do you want to devote precious energy to relationships that don’t make sense?
Trying to get everyone to like you is the same as giving your very limited energy to non-reciprocal relationships, relationships that might not improve your life, or ones that might even make your life worse. Your energy is not an unlimited resource. Use it where it matters!
Figure out your values.
When you learn to identify and live by your values, what others think of you becomes less important because you know you’re acting in ways that support your beliefs and values. As we’ve said before, values are our roadmap to living. Instead of following the path dictated by what others may think of you, you can feel confident about following your values instead.
Are you looking for help caring less what others think of you?
Meeting with a therapist gives you a safe, judgment free zone to discuss whatever is important to you, while gaining insight into yourself. Contact our office to set up an appointment today.