Why Do I Feel Numb Instead Of Sad?
Do you ever feel like you’re just going through the motions? Feel like life is happening around you, but you feel indifferent? Have you ever caught yourself comparing your reactions to the reactions of those around you? If so, you may be experiencing emotional numbness, and you are NOT ALONE.
This feeling is often referred to as emotional numbness, or blunting.
Emotional numbness is not a mental health diagnosis, but it can be a really great warning sign that something deeper may need attention. This is your brain’s way of protecting you when you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or experiencing trauma and are unsure of how to process it. Think of it like your mind is pressing the pause button and taking a breather!
What does emotional numbness feel like?
Short answer: nothing. That’s kind of the point. At the base of it, it is the absence of feeling. Some people may describe this feeling as struggling to feel connected, feeling physically and mentally fatigued, losing interest in things that you used to enjoy, feeling like you are on autopilot or even struggling to function altogether. One of these symptoms alone can be extremely distressing.
So what causes this? And more importantly, how can I stop it?
Identifying what may be causing you to feel this way is the first step in getting better.
Trauma– Emotional numbness can be a part of your fight-or-flight response (AKA your body’s built in protection system). By eliminating your emotional response it makes more room for your brain to focus on what you have to do to survive.
Grief– Similar to trauma, grief may trigger your mind’s protection system and shrink the space available to experience emotions.
Chronic stress– When you feel stressed out your body produces a hormone called cortisol (the stress hormone). When we stay in a chronic state of stress our cortisol levels stay elevated and this can lead to cortisol insensitivity (meaning even when we aren’t under high levels of stress, our body will continue to function as though we are) which can lead to chronic fatigue, inflammation, and feeling “numb.”
Substance use/medications- Using substances (such as alcohol, marijuana, nicotine, etc.) to dull difficult feelings may sound appealing, however in doing so it can dampen all feelings. Emotional numbness is a common symptom for individuals with substance use disorders. Many prescription medications, especially anti-depressants, can cause emotional numbness and is a symptom that you should discuss with your medication provider as soon as possible.
Neurological conditions/other health conditions- Certain other health conditions such as MS, dementia, anemia, thyroid concerns, etc. can cause emotional numbness and should be discussed with a medical provider.
Identifying the cause of the numbness is the first step, and may be helpful in determining how long this feeling might last. If it is not caused by a medical condition, it is likely your brain pressing the pause button.
So how do you get your emotions back?
Exercise- Moving your body (even just 10 minutes a day) can help you feel reconnected with yourself and your world.
Mindfulness practices- Things like meditation, gratitude, or even just slowing down to focus on one task at a time can help clear the mental clutter in your mind (making more space for emotions to come back!)
Therapy- Therapy can teach you how to identify and name feelings, helping you feel more connected with yourself and ultimately feel more in control. Specialized therapy modalities, such as EMDR, can help you rewire your brain so traumatic memories are less likely to put your brain on pause in the future.
Okay I’ve tried all that and I still don’t feel better, what now?
When your emotions have been blunted for too long and you feel like you’re simply existing instead of living, it could be a sign that emotional numbness has progressed into depression. It’s important to remember that the feeling of emotional numbness does not mean that something is “wrong” with you, but rather a sign that your brain has reached its limit and is asking for help. If you’ve identified with any of the above, consider reaching out to start therapy! Therapists can help you dig deeper to identify what may be causing you to feel this way and walk alongside you on the path to feeling better!
-Haley Martin, LMSW, LMAC