Let’s be honest, coping skill advice can feel a bit repetitive. “Take a deep breath.” “Go for a walk.” “Journal.” Helpful? Sure. The reality? Not every coping skill works for every person. Just because your friend swears by meditation doesn’t mean sitting in silence for 20 minutes is going to magically fix your bad day. In fact, it may make it worse. The best types of coping skills are the ones you’ll actually use. So let’s take a minute and find a coping strategy that fits your personality.
If You’re The Overthinker….
Your brain has 47 tabs open at all times, and they all play the worst case scenario. You replay and deep dive into conversations. You’ve convinced yourself that you’ll never socially recover from telling the waiter “you too” when they said “enjoy your meal.”
Try: Brain Dump Journaling
Instead of trying to organize your thoughts, dump every single one onto paper. Don’t worry about grammar or making it make sense. Just get it out of your head.
Why it works: Overthinkers often feel stuck because their thoughts are bounding around with nowhere to go. Writing them down helps create a little distance and helps quiet the mental noise.
If You’re Always on the Go….
You love being productive. Your calendar is full, your to-do list is never ending, and slowing down feels…icky. When you have free time, you immediately start looking for something else to do.
Try: Mindful Walks
Leave your headphones at home. Notice the temperature. The sounds around you. The color of the trees. How your feet feel hitting the ground.
Why it works: You don’t have to stop moving to slow your mind down. Sometimes movement is exactly what helps you reconnect with the present.
If You’re the Creative One….
You process the world through music, art, photography, fashion, cooking, or creating something with your hands. Talking about your emotions doesn’t always come naturally, but creating does.
Try: Expressive Art
Paint. Doodle. Make a playlist. Write poetry. Build with Legos. Bake cookies. Make a vision board. Your creation doesn’t have to be museum worthy, the goal isn’t to impress anyone. The goal is to give your emotions somewhere to go.
Why it works: Creative activities engage different parts of your brain and allow feelings to come out in ways that conversations sometimes can’t. Creating can help release emotions while giving you a sense of accomplishment and control.
If You’re the People Person….
Being around others fills your cup. When something stressful happens, your first instinct is to text your best friend.
Try: Co-Regulation
Spend time with someone who makes you feel safe. Have a conversation, watch a movie together, grab a coffee, or simply sit in the same room. Sometimes borrowing someone else’s calm nervous system is exactly what we need.
Why it works: Spending time with someone who makes you feel safe can calm your nervous system and remind you that you don’t have to carry everything alone. Even if you don’t talk about what’s bothering you it can help reduce stress and help you feel more grounded.
If You’re Independent to a Fault….
Your favorite phrase is “I’m fine” even when you’re definitely not. You pride yourself on handling everything yourself, but carrying it all gets heavy.
Try: Asking for one small thing
Not your biggest problem. Just one small thing. Ask someone to grab a coffee with you. Ask someone to help you move a piece of furniture. Ask someone to proofread an email. Accepting support isn’t a weakness, it’s a skill.
Why it works: Asking for help in small ways teaches your brain that relying on others isn’t a sign of weakness, but just a part of being human. The more you practice accepting support, the easier it gets to let people show up for you when you truly need them.
If You’re Constantly Stressed….
Your shoulders live near your ears. Your jaw is clenched. You can’t remember the last time your body actually relaxed.
Try: Progressive muscle relaxation
Start with your toes, gently tense and release each muscle group as you move up your body. You’ll be surprised by how much stress your body has been carrying without you even noticing.
Why it works: Stress doesn’t just live in your mind, it lives in your body too . When you’re overwhelmed your muscles naturally tighten. Progressive muscle relaxation helps your body recognize the difference between tension and relaxation, making it easier to release physical stress.
If You Can’t Sit Still….
Meditation sounds like torture. You tried it, but it lasted about 90 seconds. You don’t have to force yourself into stillness.
Try: Movement
Dance around your room. Stretch. Shoot hoops. Ride your bike. Lift weights. Clean the kitchen while listening to your favorite playlist.
Why it works: Movement helps your body release built-up stress and can make emotional regulation feel much more manageable. Physical activity can help your body burn off excess stress hormones while releasing feel good chemicals that can improve your mood.
If You’re Emotionally Avoidant….
You distract yourself when things get hard. Scrolling. Working. Sleeping. Anything but actually feeling your feelings.
Try: A five minute check in
Ask yourself: “What am I feeling?” “Where do I notice it in my body?” “What might I need right now?” Five minutes to acknowledge your emotions without feeling overwhelmed.
Why it works: Avoiding difficult emotions may provide temporary relief, but those feelings usually stick around until they’re acknowledged. A five minute check in takes the pressure off of “needing to deal with everything.” Start with noticing your emotions in small doses.
Remember Coping Skills Can Change!
What works for you today may not work next month. Sometimes you’ll need a long walk, or a long cry. Sometimes you may need to journal, or laugh with your friends over some tacos. The goal isn’t to have one strategy that fixes everything. The goal is to have a toolbox filled with different options.
-Haley Martin, LMSW, LMAC