7 Tips To Ease Back to School Anxiety
Summer can feel like freedom. Late mornings, fewer responsibilities, spontaneous plans, and a break from the usual routine can make it easy to forget how much structure school requires. Then suddenly, the school year is around the corner and the anxiety starts creeping in. Common anxiety may manifest in physical complaints like a headache or a stomach ache. You may notice your child or teen become more agitated as the school year approaches, or there may be an uptick in separation anxiety. Others may be giving you a long list of all of the negatives of school. Regardless of how your child approaches this transition, here are some helpful tips for starting a great school year.
Listen and Validate
The first step is just to listen. And I mean genuinely listen to your child’s concerns. This may seem obvious, but it can also be the most difficult. Validating their feelings and fears without trying to immediately fix the situation can be incredibly challenging for a parent as many of your jobs include trying to “fix” things for your child to feel more comfortable. By showing empathy and understanding, you create an environment where your child feels comfortable expressing their emotions. Don’t overcomplicate it either! It can be as simple as saying “I know this is hard for you to go from such a fun summer to a busy school day. It likely feels a bit frustrating and like you don’t have much control right now.”
Problem Solve as a Team
This is where your “fixer” job comes in handy. Try to identify specific anxiety triggers and work together to help your child find possible solutions. By involving them in the problem solving process you can help empower them to feel more confident and independent when encountering challenges. Building these skills will set them up for success in school and beyond.
This may look like acknowledging and validating their concerns then asking them what they think could help to reduce their anxiety. For example: “I know you’re already nervous about tomorrow morning, but what might make you feel a little less nervous? Any ideas?” You may be surprised with what they come up with! And if they’re stuck in the anxiety and not able to problem solve, consider offering some options, giving them full power to veto as needed.
Get Into a Routine Early
Ease your child back into a school routine at least one week before classes begin. Slowly start to reintroduce early mornings and evening schedules. Start to lay out clothes the night before. For kiddos with high anxiety, practice the school routine in as much detail as possible while reminding them of the positive and familiar experiences from the past to build reassurance.
Give Choices and Make it Fun!
Build confidence about the new school year by allowing them to make choices. Let them pick their first day of school outfit (or accessory if they have a uniform). Plan a special breakfast and dinner menu together. Consider positive reinforcements for getting through the day (like a Starbucks cakepop or a new fidget). Having something fun to look forward to helps manage anxiety because our brains have trouble identifying the difference between anxiety and excitement.
Provide Confidence Boosts
Help your child focus on their positive traits. Encourage them to express their strengths. Remind them that they are a good friend, or a great problem solver, or a fabulous listener. It’s your time to be their biggest cheerleader! Reinforcing these qualities helps them feel stable in an unpredictable situation.
Check Your Own Anxiety
Kids often model their behavior after their parents. Be mindful of how you manage your own anxiety, especially as it relates to your child’s back to school worries. Show healthy coping skills and positive self-talk through your actions and anxiety management. For example: Identify anxiety about an upcoming meeting and how you experience these feelings. Demonstrate positive self-talk the morning of the meeting, saying something like “I can do this”, “I’ve been nervous before but it’s always worked out in the end!”
Seek Help
If your child’s anxiety becomes overwhelming or is interfering with their daily life outside of the specific stressor, consider reaching out to our professional counselors at Andover Family Counseling. Together we can create a positive and anxiety free school year!
-Haley Martin, LMSW, LMAC